Teen Curfews

Let’s talk about curfews for teens in Italy—a topic that really threw me for a loop when my daughter asked to stay out until midnight during the summer at just 14 years old! I nearly fainted. I was raised by a God-fearing Southern mama who always said, “Nothing good happens after dark,” so the idea of my precious daughter being out at that hour had me wondering what on earth she could be doing at that time of night!

Montaione, Tuscany

Here’s a bit of context that I think is important. Not every town in Italy is like ours, and this is just my personal experience and observations. We live in a small, hilltop medieval village with around 3,000 residents, including those in the nearby hamlets. It is very safe and the crime is minimal if any. There’s no train station here, which means we don’t have many transient or unfamiliar people passing through. To get to our village, you either need to come by car or brave the steep climb by bicycle!

Back to the story, she reassured me that all of her friends were going too, though that didn’t exactly ease my nerves. She also mentioned there would be plenty of people of all ages out and about. I had to see this for myself. We set clear boundaries on where she could go, made sure her Life360 tracking app was on, and her phone was charged 150%. So, we agreed—our baby was staying out until midnight. Sweet Jesus, take the wheel! I was so nervous, with a million worst-case scenarios running through my head. And then, off she went…

So, we did what any paranoid parent would do while raising teens in another culture—we went on an undercover mission, walking the dog at 11:40 p.m. To our surprise, half the village was still out! Elderly men and women were sitting on benches in the parks, chatting and playing bocce. People were walking their dogs, and the cafés were buzzing with people enjoying the cool summer night. Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but think, “Shouldn’t these people be in bed?”—I was ready to turn in at 9! But not here. Teens were out, and not just teens—young kids, too! The parks were full of children playing on the swings while their parents caught up with friends. We felt an enormous sense of relief. The main piazza was even filled with small children running around. Eventually, we made peace with the late-night curfew, and now our teen babies are allowed to stay out until 11:30 or midnight on the weekends. Just to note, we tend to be a bit more conservative when it comes to curfews. After 16 years old, the curfew for most teens here is much later—many even go out to teen dance clubs and stay out until 3 am! I’m incredibly thankful that my kids have no interest in that scene! It’s all part of the late-night culture here, and while we may be on the more cautious end of things, I’m starting to accept that this late-night lifestyle is just the norm in Italy.

Other late-night events for kids

Another aspect of the late-night culture is the time of school meetings, special events for kids, and even some athletic practices, which often take place before or after dinner. Now, dinner in Italy isn’t at 5 or 6 pm like in the States—here, it starts at 8 pm. So, these events that happen up until 7 pm are fine, but when they go past 9 pm, it blows my mind! Don’t these kids need sleep? It feels like it goes against every piece of advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics! For instance, my 8-year-old daughter has marching band practice once a week, from 9 to 10 pm on a school night. Seriously?! And it’s not just that—there are often special events for kids that start late, with 9 pm seeming to be the prime time for many of these gatherings. I’m still not fully used to this routine, especially on school nights, but I’m working on it!

Dinnertime

As I mentioned earlier, dinner in Italy typically starts around 8 pm. On the weekends, the teens usually follow this routine: they hang out with friends in the afternoon or do their planned after-school activities, come home just before 8 pm to eat, and then head back out around 9:30 or 10 pm. That’s the norm. Weekend dinners at restaurants can also last for hours, of which I absolutely love! There’s no rush, no double seatings—just leisurely meals filled with great conversation and delicious food.

It’s simply part of the culture here, and I’m getting used to it and learning to embrace it day by day.